Communication Technician Gifts

'Hey, look!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Ruddy bloggers!

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

Torturing the English Language

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

Messenger of the gods in the digital age.