Commercial Production Gifts

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

New music conference

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Buster Keaton

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Your ad here!

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

"So how much money do you make?"

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'Before each of you is a video camera. In the event I do something that could go viral...'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

Stage producer.

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"It's my extreme sports camera. I thought it would be cool to show my mom what I do at work."

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

Larry David

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: All in a Day's Work

'And now for some fresh and existing commercials before we get back to our dull, uninteresting, and hum-drum story.'

"Actually, would you mind turning and shooting at 7 paces? Any more and you'll walk out of frame for my YouTube video."