Media Production Gifts

'Get real! Reality is, Reality sells'

'There's a thin line between good taste and bad taste. Does anyone know where that line is?'

Footballer About to Take a Penalty With Camera Crew In Front of Goal.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Occu-Pie Mars

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

In the Guru District

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"National security adviser"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

If nobody had invented graphics

Gay Times...

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'