Media Production Gifts

'Get real! Reality is, Reality sells'

'There's a thin line between good taste and bad taste. Does anyone know where that line is?'

Footballer About to Take a Penalty With Camera Crew In Front of Goal.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Occu-Pie Mars

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

In the Guru District

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"National security adviser"

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"