Media Planner Gifts

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

"I'm a little concerned about our distribution."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

"I want you to come up with a fifty second commercial that gives everybody a headache."

"Our company strongly believes in giving to charity..."

'Hang on a minute - I think there's something else down here!'

We've substantially modified the concept of advertising.

If they didn't show commercials, people would not know what to buy.

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"Yes! Our product placement in front of their product placement."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"Apart from cost, new programmes will seriously reduce screening time for repeats..."

Your next cartoon will follow after these advertisements

Televisions most loved couple - What do you mean, they're getting divorced?

TV scheduler's garbage in and garbage out baskets..

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

Epitaph on tombstone reads: Place Your Ad Here

"Bob here named his kid... Vagisil!"

"I forget to spell check that memo asking for cheep ads."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

"We interrupt this commercial in order to bring you an even BETTER one!"

"We should appeal to their greed, without, of course, actually appealing to their greed."

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Occu-Pie Mars

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Build your very own conflict of interest!