Commercial Creator Gifts

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."