Comic Cuisine Fan Gifts

"I fear this place is going downhill."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

Large Very Fresh Eggs

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

'Aw, cool! Look! They got us a hot tub!'

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

'Who ordered the mushy peas?

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"That's it, deep fried or mashed. Do you want a job or not?"

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

'Hey! My Chili is Chilly!' 'I'll add some Chilies!'

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

"You still use too much yeast in your bread!"

'Thinner!'

'What price range did you have in mind?'

'Do you do the squished up little balls that taste of fish - or are you the wrong ethnicity?'

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

'... And you're positive that you didn't order, fly soup?'

'Tch! We're not eating Mexican again, are we?' 'Well, I'd look pretty silly going into an Italian restaurant dressed like this.'

"I'm making dirty rice."

"I think the the students are going to like your buffet. The bread looks fresh...the potatoes look creamy...and the attendant looks heavenly!"

'Keep an eye on McAllister -- I think he's cooking the books.'

Funeral with Special Sauce