Foodie Comic Fan Gifts

Large Very Fresh Eggs

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

Cook au vin

'The stuff legends are made of'

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

'Aw, cool! Look! They got us a hot tub!'

'Who ordered the mushy peas?

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"That's it, deep fried or mashed. Do you want a job or not?"

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'Sorry general, but this is a four star restaurant.'

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

'Do you do the squished up little balls that taste of fish - or are you the wrong ethnicity?'

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

'Hey! My Chili is Chilly!' 'I'll add some Chilies!'

"I fear this place is going downhill."

'What price range did you have in mind?'

'Thinner!'

'... And you're positive that you didn't order, fly soup?'

'Tch! We're not eating Mexican again, are we?' 'Well, I'd look pretty silly going into an Italian restaurant dressed like this.'

"According to its DNA, your meatloaf is from an unknown species."

Ketchup stain … Mustard stain … BBQ stain …

'Sorry for the delay. Our free-range chicken can't decide what it wants to be.'