Culinary Comic Fans Gifts

'Tch! We're not eating Mexican again, are we?' 'Well, I'd look pretty silly going into an Italian restaurant dressed like this.'

"Don't say anything, but these aren't really artisanal bread crumbs."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Thou Shalt Not!

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

Amy Sedaris

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

Onion operation.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."

'Roast chickens £4. Pensioners £3.'

"What fly?"

"Is the slop fresh?"

'Mine was stone cold.'