Culinary Comic Enthusiast Gifts

'...Late customer...demanding soup of the day...'

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'Well, if she didn't remove any of her layers, why are your eyes watering?'

'Looks like mice wave been at this cake. Impossible, the cat slept on it all night.'

'I hope you're satisfied! -- I asked the chef to hurry your order, and he BURNED himself!'

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

'Sorry for the delay. Our free-range chicken can't decide what it wants to be.'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Thou Shalt Not!

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

Amy Sedaris

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Onion operation.

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."

'Roast chickens £4. Pensioners £3.'