Culinary Comic Enthusiast Gifts

'...Late customer...demanding soup of the day...'

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'Well, if she didn't remove any of her layers, why are your eyes watering?'

'Looks like mice wave been at this cake. Impossible, the cat slept on it all night.'

'I hope you're satisfied! -- I asked the chef to hurry your order, and he BURNED himself!'

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

'Sorry for the delay. Our free-range chicken can't decide what it wants to be.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Thou Shalt Not!

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Amy Sedaris

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

Onion operation.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.