Comic Culinary Enthusiast Gifts

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Night of the Latkes

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Thou Shalt Not!

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Onion operation.

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

Amy Sedaris

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."

"Is the slop fresh?"

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

'Roast chickens £4. Pensioners £3.'