Food Comic Enthusiast Gifts

"The festive season makes me nervous, Bob."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Thou Shalt Not!

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Lockdown casserole

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Amy Sedaris

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Onion operation.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."

"Is the slop fresh?"