Food Comic Enthusiast T-Shirts

"The festive season makes me nervous, Bob."

Night of the Latkes

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Thou Shalt Not!

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Lockdown casserole

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Amy Sedaris

Onion operation.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Is the slop fresh?"