Comic Culinary Lover Gifts

Osteo-pierogies

Night of the Latkes

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Thou Shalt Not!

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Onion operation.

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

Amy Sedaris

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."

"What fly?"