Comic Cuisine Fan T-Shirts

"I fear this place is going downhill."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

Large Very Fresh Eggs

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

'Aw, cool! Look! They got us a hot tub!'

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

'Who ordered the mushy peas?

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"That's it, deep fried or mashed. Do you want a job or not?"

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

'Sorry general, but this is a four star restaurant.'

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

'Hey! My Chili is Chilly!' 'I'll add some Chilies!'

'Do you do the squished up little balls that taste of fish - or are you the wrong ethnicity?'

The Family Joules: Part 13

'What price range did you have in mind?'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

'Thinner!'

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

"You still use too much yeast in your bread!"

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

'... And you're positive that you didn't order, fly soup?'

'Tch! We're not eating Mexican again, are we?' 'Well, I'd look pretty silly going into an Italian restaurant dressed like this.'

"I think the the students are going to like your buffet. The bread looks fresh...the potatoes look creamy...and the attendant looks heavenly!"

"I'm making dirty rice."

'I've changed my mind.'

Ketchup stain … Mustard stain … BBQ stain …