Comedy Sketch Followers Gifts

"Oh crap, I meant to hand her the stickup note first!"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'How about a nice saloon?'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

"You have one, two, three months to live."

"Let's see how you like it, tough guy!"

"All the Biden jobs went to illegal ALIENS."

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

Sheep with its wool unwinding because it's snagged on a tree