Comedy Sketchers Gifts

Pet bird on a lead.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'How about a nice saloon?'

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

Dog Drawing a Badger.

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

Sheep with its wool unwinding because it's snagged on a tree

"If 'Slothra' takes any longer climbing to the top I'll have to land and refuel again."

The Cartoonist's armoury

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

'I'd like a late afternoon appointment please. To give his hands a chance to warm up.'

"I wanted to go for an explicit sex scene, but now I see this, I think I will opt for the suggestive approach!"