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"Oh crap, I meant to hand her the stickup note first!"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

'How about a nice saloon?'

John Cleese.

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'I, pink, therefore, I ham...'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

"If 'Slothra' takes any longer climbing to the top I'll have to land and refuel again."

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

Sheep with its wool unwinding because it's snagged on a tree

"You have one, two, three months to live."

"Let's see how you like it, tough guy!"