Comedy Sketches T-Shirts

Kids watching TV - 'They watch television all the time now that junk food adverts have been banned'.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Indoor firework in bathroom called Flash-In-The-Pan.

Sleeping on the job.

'The job is yours if you're willing to shave.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

'I, pink, therefore, I ham...'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Bob Odenkirk

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

"If 'Slothra' takes any longer climbing to the top I'll have to land and refuel again."

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

Sheep with its wool unwinding because it's snagged on a tree

"I wanted to go for an explicit sex scene, but now I see this, I think I will opt for the suggestive approach!"

Marty Feldman

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'Good news! That spot is B-9!'

"...and then we'll clear the blockage by inserting a tiny balloon."