Comedies About Aging Gifts

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"Would anyone like to say any final words about Carl from accounting?"

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

Mirror mirror...

When her hex on ageing failed, Grizelda opted for the mobility - broom.

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

'That is the last time we will ask an actor to cut a cake.'

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

An old lady has her varicose veins tattooed to look like plants