Comedic Students Gifts

"Is that a smile on her face?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Monkey Business College

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

Liberals' Wishful Thinking about Joe Biden

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'I ran out of excuses. My teacher taught us how to back up our homework on our computers.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

Spider Facts.

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'You have to stay after school because you got caught in the hall without a pass? But you're homeschooled!'

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

Second grade would prove to be much tougher than grade one.

Eskimo in Igloo