Comedic Plumbing Critic Gifts

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

Pop up begger.

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

Septic Fields Forever.

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

Fisherman Funneral

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

Safety Pin

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."