Comedic Exaggeration Fans Gifts

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

An exaggeration of estate agents

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

Fish Story

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

"Come check this out, Doris! I think our mouse trap finally caught a mouse!"

Scuba Skater

"Ooh...this looks like fun. I could do with a good giggle!"

LARGE FRONT

How come nothing good ever happens to me? Like what? Like getting taken by a foreign government then rescued. I want to get a book contract, to be part of the news cycle, to have him talk about me. Whom? Speak my name, Anderson Cooper! The great one.

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

'You'll never be as good as Morecambe and Wise,'

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

Used car salesman to man: 'And this one was driven by a little old lady ...er ...uh ... with 36 grandchildren.'

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

Michelle was the first in her class to pupate.

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

Look at you. The vacant stare

'Oh...Sty Candy!'

'Let him go or your friend gets it.'

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."

'I threw my old t-shirt out and bought this for two quid.' - 'The stitching has come loose so I want to get a refund... but the bus fare into town will cost more than the refund.' - 'Now I'm stuck in a logical loop... and I'm chilly.'