Comedic Banter Fan Gifts

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"I run around this high school track every morning."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

Cause of death: Just one of those things.

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

Boxers vs. Briefs

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

Pisa and sons.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Knife-thrower.

'Yes, he did turn into a price, but there were complications.'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"Any luck"