Comedic Banter Fans Gifts

Draw

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'A cheeky red?'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Standard & Poor

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Yakety-Yak

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'The penguin is upset...'