Comedic Irony Fans Gifts

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

'What kind of idiots would go hunting in this kind of weather?'

End the Winter Blues

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

'Waiter. Tonight, we're pulling out all the stops! Get her the steak special and I'll have the pork chops.'

Gigolo Diary

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

"I took your advice."

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

"Don't take this the wrong way, but the first minute I saw you I wished you the worst."

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'No, but you're getting warmer.'

'A most powerful, moving and scary book - botanists will love it!'

Scuba Skater

LARGE FRONT

'Yes, I'm a temp. Why do you ask?'

'She looks good because it's not natural. It's all plastic.'

'You really shouldn't eat food that are out of season.'

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'

'The tracks are getting fresher. He's close by.'

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

' . . . but have you had a nice time?'

'But, how can we be sure he's not endangered?'

'It's not about winning or losing, it's about endorsements.'