Playful Banter Fan Gifts

Propriety

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

This little piggy went to market...

'A cheeky red?'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

'The boss is just a carrier - he doesn't get panic attacks, he just gives panic attacks!'

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Your team should sign that bluebottle, it has chased the ball all over the pitch."

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

Football Drinks

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'

Mysteries of the ocean...

"With the pretzels I recommend a hearty burgundy, with the goldfish a blanc de blancs."

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

The Forgotten Men's Club

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

'You have inflammation in both eyes but as far as I can see, there's no information behind them.'

You throw poop like a girl.

"Look, honey, they're erecting a statue of you in the park—oh, now they're taking it down."

"... You have a cold?... So, does that make you an illegal eagle?"

'Quit the act? That's not you, boss--that's the drink talking.'

""Forget that 'Age Before Beauty' stuff. I want to stay behind you to keep an eye on you!"

"I'm interested in the debt consolidation package your bank has been advertising...."