Playful Banter Fan Pillows

Propriety

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

This little piggy went to market...

'A cheeky red?'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

'The boss is just a carrier - he doesn't get panic attacks, he just gives panic attacks!'

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

"Your team should sign that bluebottle, it has chased the ball all over the pitch."

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'

Football Drinks

Mysteries of the ocean...

"With the pretzels I recommend a hearty burgundy, with the goldfish a blanc de blancs."

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

The Forgotten Men's Club

'You have inflammation in both eyes but as far as I can see, there's no information behind them.'

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

'Quit the act? That's not you, boss--that's the drink talking.'

""Forget that 'Age Before Beauty' stuff. I want to stay behind you to keep an eye on you!"

"Oh year?! Well, MY daddy is the largest of the largest animal species on earth!"

"I'm interested in the debt consolidation package your bank has been advertising...."

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."

"... You have a cold?... So, does that make you an illegal eagle?"