Comedic Exaggeration Fan Gifts

Used car salesman to man: 'And this one was driven by a little old lady ...er ...uh ... with 36 grandchildren.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

An exaggeration of estate agents

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

An expedition to get ice for the party.

Knife-thrower.

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

Fish Story

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

Scuba Skater

LARGE FRONT

How come nothing good ever happens to me? Like what? Like getting taken by a foreign government then rescued. I want to get a book contract, to be part of the news cycle, to have him talk about me. Whom? Speak my name, Anderson Cooper! The great one.

"Well, of course you have a heart."

"Ooh...this looks like fun. I could do with a good giggle!"

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

2200 BC: Egypt experiences Beetlemania

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

In the Museum of Anthropology...we named this one discoman.

Look at you. The vacant stare

I thought you wanted me to sell your car.

'Let him go or your friend gets it.'

'Oh...Sty Candy!'

The Tumor with the 200lbs Man!

"Hi! I'm Bob the chartreuse investment armadillo."

'Y'know, Humpty, you need to get right back on that wall!'

'Mr. Beegley will see you briefly.'

Fish scales.

"There's nothing wrong with the leg, I just want the neighbours to think I've been skiing..."

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE: 'It says we should have nominated Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.'