Comedic Dining Gifts

"And Billy will have the Stomach Stable-Buster."

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

'Do you call this spaghetti'

'Do you want toast with that?'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

Beard helper

Dessert Storm Veteran

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

Frozen Fish

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"I never remember, do you brine before or after you get attached to him."

'All you can eat, burgers.'

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

We were asked to insure them against poisoning their guests.

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.

When your trainer said stretching is a key component of your new fitness program, she wasn't talking about your stomach!

Chinese noodles.