Comedic Cooking Gifts

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'Do you call this spaghetti'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Do you want toast with that?'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Dessert Storm Veteran

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

Beard helper

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

Chicken A La King

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

"I never remember, do you brine before or after you get attached to him."

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

'All you can eat, burgers.'

"And Billy will have the Stomach Stable-Buster."

Frozen Fish

We were asked to insure them against poisoning their guests.

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.

Mom's Home-Deforested Cooking!

Chinese noodles.

'Happy Valentine's Day!'

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

Our Village Industrial Competition.