Comedic Cookery Connoisseur Gifts

Pizza's Burning...

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'Choose, Fenster

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

'Do you call this spaghetti'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'It's Blurred.'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'