Comedic Culinary Enthusiast Gifts

"What did the Doctor say, Dennis? Sensible Eating!"

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'Do you call this spaghetti'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

Beard helper

Dessert Storm Veteran

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

Frozen Fish

'All you can eat, burgers.'

"I never remember, do you brine before or after you get attached to him."

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"The reason your meringue is crushed is because I distinctly heard you tell me to 'Step on it'."

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

'I'm sorry dinner took so long. Your pork chop got stuck in the toaster.'

We were asked to insure them against poisoning their guests.

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.