Comedic Food Lover Gifts

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.

When your trainer said stretching is a key component of your new fitness program, she wasn't talking about your stomach!

Dessert Storm Veteran

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'Do you call this spaghetti'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Do you want toast with that?'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

Beard helper

"And Billy will have the Stomach Stable-Buster."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

Frozen Fish

'All you can eat, burgers.'

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

"I never remember, do you brine before or after you get attached to him."

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

We were asked to insure them against poisoning their guests.

Mom's Home-Deforested Cooking!

Chinese noodles.

Our Village Industrial Competition.

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

"It's not having seconds that's the problem. It's having fifths and sixths!"