Comedic Gourmet Gifts

Grand Opening! I wish someone had told me those weren't for haircuts.

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

Selecting teeth.. "I'll have those, please."

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Do you want toast with that?'

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

Chinese Novel Cookie

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

Dessert Storm Veteran

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

Beard helper

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

'My broker advises me to have the pork bellies.'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'All you can eat, burgers.'

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

Frozen Fish

"Red wine with fish? Do you take me as some kind of a monster?!"

"And Billy will have the Stomach Stable-Buster."

"I never remember, do you brine before or after you get attached to him."

We were asked to insure them against poisoning their guests.

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.

Mom's Home-Deforested Cooking!