Comedic Gourmands Gifts

Diet.

The wonderful world of cheese.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Just one more choccy...

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

Dessert Storm Veteran

Beard helper

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

'All you can eat, burgers.'

"And Billy will have the Stomach Stable-Buster."

"I never remember, do you brine before or after you get attached to him."

Frozen Fish

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."