Comedic Gourmands Gifts

Diet.

The wonderful world of cheese.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

Beard helper

Dessert Storm Veteran

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

'All you can eat, burgers.'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"And Billy will have the Stomach Stable-Buster."

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"I never remember, do you brine before or after you get attached to him."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."