Comedic Diagnostic Fan Gifts

"Well, your reflexes are fine."

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

Cristoph Willibald Gluck 2nd July 1714

Workplace Confidentiality.

An expedition to get ice for the party.

Sewing Machines in Surgery

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

Freak Accident Specialist

'You wish, Timmy.'

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

"I do miss the crystal ball."

You Will Find a Nearby Restaurant!

'The bad news is you had two diseases no one in history ever had together, The good news is they canceled each other out'

"I would like organic milk!"

"Now, let's try a Waltz. Don't worry about me though, I'm wearing safety boots..."

"Could I do this with an imaginary friend?"

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

Dr. Potato Head

Yes, by all means, Mr. Fusco, feel free to seek out a second opinion

Tweeted

'Trampoline...pogo stick...got any other genius ideas?'

Frequently used emojis, spring 2020

The first ever novel written entirely in emoticons.

Coach. Your gymnastics routine was great until the dismount.

Trump Tweets

"Hey Tony, you're a young guy. What sort of emoji goes with, 'Pay what you owe us, you lousy bum, or we're coming over there to break your legs'?"

'Tyler, I'm afraid you've been autocorrected in favor of Taylor.'

"Hi! I'm Bob the chartreuse investment armadillo."

Modern Post, Post Modern

'You know how some people are living on borrowed time? I think one of them borrowed it from you.'

'The complex,yes, the inferiority, no.'

Island visit.

The one song banned in the workshop. What did I say about playing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" where Mrs. Claus can hear it?!