Comedic Timing Fan Gifts

"Now, let's try a Waltz. Don't worry about me though, I'm wearing safety boots..."

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

Kissing Prompt

An expedition to get ice for the party.

Flatware Follies.

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

Sleeping in skis.

"Looks like it's going to be a nice day."

"His last words were: Tell Martha to pay the doctors first."

"I would like organic milk!"

"Well, your reflexes are fine."

Acme towel company: "You're taking too long on your rest breaks."

'Which piece are you going to play?' - 'The Minute Waltz' - '1 minute 9 seconds. Fail.' - 'Damn you, Chopin!'

'I'm sorry, we are looking for a different kind of party animal.'

"Oh, now you want to talk, when all week it was 'Do Not Disturb.'"

Horse bolts from Horse-box it sees in a carpark.

"He wasn't ready for the talk."

"Could I do this with an imaginary friend?"

A bird tries to fly through a window to a bird house which is in a living room.

'I'm hoping one day I'll be discovered by the director of Riverdance.'

"Now, don't get too excited – it could just be a hand puppet."

Clock and bird

'You're doing great. I'll take over at half past. . .'

Santa crawling out of log burning stove.

"I thought you only came once a year."

Desk trays: 'Ka...' and '...Boom.'

"Hi! I'm Bob the chartreuse investment armadillo."

The one song banned in the workshop. What did I say about playing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" where Mrs. Claus can hear it?!

'The complex,yes, the inferiority, no.'

Earthquake Insurance

'What are you implying.'

"... Anyway, as I was saying before we hit that iceberg..."