Comedic Creditor Gifts

"I'm in debt up to my eyes. Only my hat is paid for!"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Pop up begger.

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

At The Clown Bank.

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

'I thought you said inflatables were allowed on the beach.'

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

Safety Pin

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

Two women are hosting a radio show called Ask Sadie.

"You in there! This is the Microsoft Police. Throw out your books and come out with your hands up."

"My wife thinks I'm out looking for a job..."