Comedic Banker Gifts

Barclays Bank Sky-diving Team

At The Clown Bank.

"I wish you would stop asking customers how much filthy lucre they're depositing."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

Sorry, Rudy, no way can I raise your pay to $15 an hour. Why not? 'Cause that would destroy jobs. What would you do for a job once I moved the caf

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

Harvest Data Festival

"You never express your emotions. You're very blank."

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

"The tooth fairy direct-deposited your quarter."

Business Fairy Tales.

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."

"What??? For that money I used to get at least a judge, a congressman, and a city councilman!!"

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

'Fortunately, I'm serving, concurrently, both my interest and principle.'

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

"We fire pound coins at each other at high speeds and hope for the best ..."

"I'm thinking of investing. Do you invest?"

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

Pied Piper luring money from the bank.

IRS - 'You had NO earned income last year?', 'That's what my boss said.'

"How much were you thinking of spending?"

'It's true their security is better here but they don't have overdraft fees.'

Bank Checking. Ah, just the person we wanted to see. The good news is we've named a computer glitch after you.

'They bounce it off a satellite.'

'I'm sorry dear, I'm going to live by myself, I need to economise!'

'Could I have a loan of a cup of sugar please?'