Whimsical Banker Gifts

Business Fairy Tales.

"The tooth fairy direct-deposited your quarter."

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

"No wonder I got it so cheap!"

'I'm sure it is precious to you Mr Figgins, but I'm afraid I can't accept it as collateral.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

At The Clown Bank.

Mary Berry

Secret Identity Theft.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

'I believe in Santa Claus, and I believe in the guaranteed annual 10% return.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

"It's your cat broker, Madame - he has a hot tip on a Siamese."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

'This is better than magic beans, Jack. It's stock in the company that makes the magic beans.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"Brick, Eh? Well, sorry to blow your house down but these days it's not wise to be so invested in stability."