Comedic Financier Gifts

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

'Believe me, sir - Entertainment is a very serious business!'

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

Sorry, Rudy, no way can I raise your pay to $15 an hour. Why not? 'Cause that would destroy jobs. What would you do for a job once I moved the caf

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

At The Clown Bank.

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

'We finally found a way to break the deadlock in our negotiations. I'll need a deck of cards and some poker chips.'

'Sorry, but Watford is not a tax heaven!'

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

'Fortunately, I'm serving, concurrently, both my interest and principle.'

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

"What??? For that money I used to get at least a judge, a congressman, and a city councilman!!"

If the Fed can loosen it's money supply, why can't you?

"What do you think of the new window display?" "It's the first time we've ever shown a prophet."

"I'm thinking of investing. Do you invest?"