Comedic Court Gifts

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

"I knew you'd understand."

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Joe's Tavern: Perfect Attendance

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

You're in luck - The 5-second rule is not legally binding. Donuts.

Chemical Lawyers.

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

Shooting in Ireland

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

Bi Polar Bears

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

Extended warranty on the sales guy.

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

In the Museum of Anthropology...we named this one discoman.

Down here, we prefer "gesundheit."

"I'd like to take things slow, Al, so instead of a goodnight kiss I'm going to poke you a few times with this stick."

"How much were you thinking of spending?"

'Hey! Knock it off, will ya?'

'Dude, you better get outta' my whey.'

"I heard this pond is full of big bass!"

'I barely got a shot off on this big fellow.'

Psychofarm

'The jury will please refrain from tossing seat cushions and heckling counsel.'

'Calm down Harold, it's just a phase some teens go through. He just shaved his coloured feathers off to express his feminine side!'

Building Problem

'...then the drone blasts the back wall of the bank.'

"Tuesday is out, I have a coding class."

"But after Monica, I began to wonder... Maybe I've been looking for rejection in all the wrong places!"