Comedic Court Pillows

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

"I knew you'd understand."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Joe's Tavern: Perfect Attendance

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Chemical Lawyers.

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

Shooting in Ireland

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

Bi Polar Bears

Extended warranty on the sales guy.

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

"I'd like to take things slow, Al, so instead of a goodnight kiss I'm going to poke you a few times with this stick."

"How much were you thinking of spending?"

'Dude, you better get outta' my whey.'

"I heard this pond is full of big bass!"

'I barely got a shot off on this big fellow.'

In the Museum of Anthropology...we named this one discoman.

Psychofarm

'The jury will please refrain from tossing seat cushions and heckling counsel.'

'Calm down Harold, it's just a phase some teens go through. He just shaved his coloured feathers off to express his feminine side!'

Building Problem

"Is the baby sideways?"

"Tuesday is out, I have a coding class."

"But after Monica, I began to wonder... Maybe I've been looking for rejection in all the wrong places!"

"Your resume said you were fat."