Comedic Couple Dynamics Observer Gifts

'Explain to me again how a trip to the mall to buy shoelaces resulted in this!'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"My computer just texted me."

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"The blow drier is broken."

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

"I think the banana looks like a mustache, or a weird smile or something. How about an apple? ... Just a suggestion."

Glimpses One Dollar

"Hey! This is news."

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

'We should talk more.'

'You were right. We should have gotten a lap dog.'

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

Men and Women's changing rooms

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

"I'm looking for a GPS with Morgan Freeman's voice. Maybe my husband will listen to it."

'He'd never invent anything if I didn't nag him.'

"He cares what everyone wants for Christmas except me!"

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"What they hell are we looking at."

Nerd night out.

'We have to be careful, Miss McPherson -- I had to marry my last secretary.'

"Sulk all you want Edward, we are not adding sporting equipment to our wedding registry!"

"Yes, dear. I see you."

"I love you." "I love you less."

"How come I never see that smile?"