Comedic Canine Observer Gifts

"He sniffs my bottom, but is that LOVE?"

"My computer just texted me."

Runner going through hurdles.

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Hey! This is news."

Glimpses One Dollar

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

Men and Women's changing rooms

He Did It!

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'You wish, Timmy.'

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

'Explain to me again how a trip to the mall to buy shoelaces resulted in this!'

"Okay, but just a quick kiss, Joey... You did see my father's gun collection, right?"

"What they hell are we looking at."

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'Mismatched Mantras'

'He's almost human.'

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

"Mom said to make sure you don't goof up shopping online."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"These humans are WEIRD! - They pick up our poop; carefully tie it up into little bags and then throw it into the nearest bush. . . !"

'My parents are having a fight right now.'

'You're new here, aren't you.'