Comedic Canine Observer Pillows

"He sniffs my bottom, but is that LOVE?"

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"My computer just texted me."

Runner going through hurdles.

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Hey! This is news."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Glimpses One Dollar

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

He Did It!

Men and Women's changing rooms

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

'You wish, Timmy.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'Explain to me again how a trip to the mall to buy shoelaces resulted in this!'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

"Okay, but just a quick kiss, Joey... You did see my father's gun collection, right?"

"What they hell are we looking at."

'Mismatched Mantras'

"How's the gastric band working out?"

Copenhagen Three Degrees.

'My parents are having a fight right now.'

"Mom said to make sure you don't goof up shopping online."

My cousins from Barcelona show up announced and have been here for weeks! The Spanish imposition!

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'He's almost human.'

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

"These humans are WEIRD! - They pick up our poop; carefully tie it up into little bags and then throw it into the nearest bush. . . !"

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"It's finally fur coat weather."