Comedic Observer Pillows

Kids seem to sense when Pesach is drawing near.

Roadside assistance

'...and nothing you can say will make me change my mind.'

Doctor in pen shop - "I'd like something that both blotches and scratches."

'Mismatched Mantras'

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

"I feel ok until I sober up."

"I asked if you had a phone to call 911, not record it."

"How's the gastric band working out?"

Three Men Barely Moving

Copenhagen Three Degrees.

'You know Percy...they should really fix those pot holes...'

'He orders one drink and sits there eating free popcorn all night.'

Fishing.

'I'll be glad when it breaks if only to see him put some clothes on!'

Girl refusing a boy's advances.

THINK (sign nailed inappropreatly to wall)

"What already?! You're the ones who are always on about me following my dreams!"

"I don't understand, people say I've got grandma's eyes but I've always had these..."

"...and this time I want a straight answer - when are you going to fix that dripping tap?"

"My computer just texted me."

Man Looking At Painting

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

"When it comes to beautiful pumpkins, you didn't make the cut."

I know, isn't it funny how people and their pets start to look alike?

"Hey! This is news."

"I dreamed last night that we two-hundred-dollared Mr. Ferguson to death."

"What they hell are we looking at."

Glimpses One Dollar

"I try to be the wealthiest me I can be."

The La-z-girl recliner

"Relax, babe - this wedding's black-tie optional."

There are so many jobs you never hear of. Like what? Like I never knew people study vain, narcissistic show-offs. No thanks. That plaid is too loud. How on earth would you? I'll get it in gray.

'My god... I AM one of those foofy little dogs!'

My cousins from Barcelona show up announced and have been here for weeks! The Spanish imposition!