Comedic Pet Watcher Gifts

"Wow! Tinkles you fetched a stick!!!"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

Man wearing a dog cone

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

Gatorade!

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'Whoa! Slow down, kids! Your mom will neuter me if I bring you home with stomachaches from eating too much of that junk.'

Free Range Cow

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"We're in for the night."

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"It was too good to be true when the old cat died! They're just back from the shelter with a kitten..."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'What am I blind, Bob?'

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

'Uh-Oh! There goes the neighborhood.'

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'