Comedic Relationship Observer Gifts

"Okay, but just a quick kiss, Joey... You did see my father's gun collection, right?"

"How are you getting along with your French lodger?"

"Yes darling, of course you're Mr. Right... It's just that Dave here, is Mr. Righter."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"My computer just texted me."

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

Runner going through hurdles.

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

Glimpses One Dollar

Unmanned drones.

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

'We should talk more.'

"Hey! This is news."

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

Men and Women's changing rooms

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"You're grinding your teeth again."

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

"Believe me, Alice, you didn't miss a thing. It wasn't even a party—it was a positioning event."

"I'm looking for a GPS with Morgan Freeman's voice. Maybe my husband will listen to it."

'He'd never invent anything if I didn't nag him.'

"He cares what everyone wants for Christmas except me!"

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"

'Explain to me again how a trip to the mall to buy shoelaces resulted in this!'

"What they hell are we looking at."

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

"Yes, dear. I see you."