Comedic Family Observer Gifts

"Mom said to make sure you don't goof up shopping online."

'My parents are having a fight right now.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"My computer just texted me."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

Runner going through hurdles.

I think it's time he left home.'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Hey! This is news."

Glimpses One Dollar

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Overprotective Father

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

Men and Women's changing rooms

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

'Don't worry about me, mom, I'll be fine as long as you keep working!'

People in street, "Ooh doesn't he take after his dad"

"No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting."

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"

"What channel is David's summer camp on?"

'Explain to me again how a trip to the mall to buy shoelaces resulted in this!'

"What they hell are we looking at."

"Okay, but just a quick kiss, Joey... You did see my father's gun collection, right?"

"Go say something nice about your mother's corporation."

'Mismatched Mantras'

'They like to call it 'parenting,' but it's just an outmoded seniority system.'